I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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