Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
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