haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
