The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
Randomize
