Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
