singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Randomize
