ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
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