drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
