How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Randomize
