do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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