Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
