Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
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