Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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