How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
I scissor kicked a one legged man last night.
He was trying to put me in handcuffs.
You have my attention.
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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