what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Randomize
