Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize
