thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
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so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
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It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
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