I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
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