dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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