Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
