She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
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