It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
