DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
