He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Randomize
