my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
I think I just sharted jello shots
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
