You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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