I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
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