Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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