Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
