and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
This toilet bowl is my home.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Randomize
