Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
Randomize