I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
We don't watch enough power rangers
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
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