So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
Randomize