THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
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