and next time when you feel me up, do it right
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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