He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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