Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
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