So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
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