And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
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