butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
PANTIES FOUND
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