i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
Randomize
