I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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