Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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