Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
