those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Randomize
