I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
you would pick up someone in the library
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
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