drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Randomize
