I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
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