His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
