If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize