I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
