White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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