this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
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