eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
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