just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Randomize