you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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