Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
