When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
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He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
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He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
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