Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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