my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
Randomize
