My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
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