wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Randomize
