she takes plan B like it's going out of style
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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