Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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