My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
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